allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
