Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Alive.
So much puke
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
