Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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