my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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