why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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