I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
