Well douche your snatch and let's go!
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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