just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
