i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
