Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
