his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
