Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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