making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
should my penis look like a turkey
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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