Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Randomize
