so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
