I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
