I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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