a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
