I want to have your abortion
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Barsexuality is the new black.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
