ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
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