if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
