I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
So gin and wine won't be happening again
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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