What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
His nipple licking is glorious
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