Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
