Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
