Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are a booty call, not a friend.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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