Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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