If i come over, it means nothing
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
