wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
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