my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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