well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
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My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
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He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
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