I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
