you win again, gameday.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
