She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
