the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
