Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
