Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
