I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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