he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
