plz talk dirty to me
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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