when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
not ubering you a puppy
Randomize
