Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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