Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
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