I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
