Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Randomize
