I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
drinking out of a sandbucket again
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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