Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize