Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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