We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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