He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
