I wish I could teleport
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I pour the whiskey from now on
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
