Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
