I like to think it a success when the cops are called
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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