One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
