Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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