question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
