Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
