He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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