..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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