i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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