when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
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You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
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I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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