Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
